Friday, June 1, 2012
gender roles?
First I need to do a shout out to my wonderful brothers and sisters in laws (aka SF and Portland peeps). Thank you so very much for the lovely flowers and your kind thoughts. I am hanging in there!
A little background story: I haven't told my parents this is a baby boy. In Asian culture, boys are so very important. Much more important than girls. As a matter of fact, my folks once told Paris and myself that they only wanted boys. They only wish for a grandson. I won't go in details. But through out this pregnancy, first they, didn't really show any concern. Second, they made judgement and we are talking about judgement how the first kid HAS to be a boy. Every time I hear or think about this, I burst out in tears. I questioned, "Why is having a girl so bad? I live life very happily. And I am a girl who has an amazing husband who loves me dearly. Isn't that more than enough?
This evening this thought haunted at me again. I got a call from my aunt. Don't get me wrong. She had been amazing. She constantly checks on me. She comes visit me and cooks for me. But in her last visit, she overheard Paris and I referred our baby as "he". She asked Mr, "Oh did you guys find out the gender? " Then I got gort once again. I have been bed rest for nearly 2 weeks. And I have been constantly on drugs that makes me sick for 2 weeks. I have been through hell, disappointments and near death experiences. And I still have at least 2 more weeks to go. And here you are still dwelling on the gender of the baby. Is that more important than my health? My baby's health? Dear frimeends and families, please answer me, why is the idea of gender role so important? I have been trying to find an answer for the past 4 months and till to date I am still clueless!
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The baby's sex is not important, in my opinion. It's a new human being coming into the world. It's a little kid that will look up to you as a parent. It's an innocent person to be loved and kept safe. You don't have to cram the child into a gender role. Paris has always loved to cook, and Felicia & Tara were on wrestling teams with the boys. What did you tell your aunt?
ReplyDeleteMy folks once told Paris and I the first baby got to be a boy. Boys carry the family name. Since then I decided to not tell them the gender of the baby. Thinking back how I was raise so differently from my brother through out my life, that once again reassure how strong their love for boys are. Through out the past few months, they constantly think of ways to "convince" themselves this is going to be a girl. In their mind, I am no good so why would I have a boy? At times, they try to convince themselves so hard and they will say "oh you are so clumsy, it must be a girl." When in reality, I am not clumsy till I got admitted to the hospital with heavy medication. This bed rest experience is my closest to death experience, yet they will still so dwell on the gender instead of really concern about my health. Okay not even the baby 's health? How can I not be angry?
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