patience?

This is not going to be a pretty post. Last night I had a bad hour. I had more contraction than I should. Then they added more Maggie on me. The whole day it has been so good except for one lousy hour. Which was not even terrible because most of the time I don't even feel those contractions. ( I am on a strict monitor 24-7) the even sadder thing is I was sleeping when that happened. Then the first thought was should I not be sleeping anymore? I like to be in control of my life. If I know what triggers this contractions, I will do anything in my power to stop it. Not eat? Not sleep? Okay, I will do this! Really, what can I do? Life at the hospital is like an emotional rollercoaster. Physically I know I am in good hands because I don't think the doctors and nurses will let me die here. But mentally, I am completely drained. They keep adding and decreasing then adding more drugs. I cannot handle it anymore. I am mentally going crazy. I am 30 years of age and having to rely on sleeping pills to go to sleep is not an easy feeling. Let me ask how many of you out there have to be constantly rely on sleeping pills? You might be pregnant, you might have pregnancy sickness. But have you had that much medication like me? Have you been physically so tired and being tied to a bed all the time? Have you had to stay at the hospital for so long and not really know your future? Honestly, can someone please honestly tell me how much more patience do I need to survive this whole experience?